Marcotte Named “World’s Best Person” by Noted Secular Humanist

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The strength of my arguments remains unchallenged as I managed to convert communist sympathizer Keith Olbermann to our cause. We shouldn’t be too lavish with our praise, though, as Olbermann merely confirmed what I already knew.

I’m awesome.

(P.S. – It was also my birthday. Best. Present. Ever.)

About John Marcotte

John Marcotte is a firm believer in traditional family values. He currently opposes government-funded death panels, Obama talking to children and MSNBC's entire prime-time line-up.