Gay zombie apocalypse

Recently, Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe presented a clear argument that should give anyone considering granting equal rights to gays pause: tolerating gay people causes zombies.

He thinks the issue of sexual preference should be excluded from the new constitution that is being drawn up by parties represented in the government of national unity.

“It is not worthy of discussion,” he declared at a ceremony to mark Women’s Day recently. “Those that engage in such acts are insane. We cannot tolerate this, otherwise the dead will rise against us.

Source: Global Post

Add this to the revelation a few weeks ago that  women who dress slutty cause earthquakes, and Pat Robertson’s  time-tested findings that Disney’s “Gay Days” cause hurricanes, and it is clear that we must deny gays as many rights as possible. If letting a lesbian ride the Matterhorn causes coastal flooding and giving them equal protection under the law causes the dead to rise from their graves, I’m positive that allowing gay people to marry would cause widespread bursitis … or maybe a plague of impeccably dressed wolf-men who shop exclusively at Pier 1.

To see how another blogger recently tempted fate and divine retribution with her cleavage, click on the link below. I recommend reading it as a cautionary tale — and also clicking around the site for pictures of boobs:

Although I didn’t notice any earthquakes, it did rain a lot recently. That has to be someone’s fault, so I’m blaming her fun bags

About John Marcotte

John Marcotte is a firm believer in traditional family values. He currently opposes government-funded death panels, Obama talking to children and MSNBC's entire prime-time line-up.
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7 Responses to Gay zombie apocalypse

  1. David says:

    I think this guy is very crazy. No one would be a zombie. Gay peple are just that. Why do dumb peple say dumb thing?

    • Amy says:

      If you mean, Mugabe, yes, he is insane. If you mean the author, then I think you’ll find it was meant as a joke.

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  3. Eala says:

    I hate this guy, but I’ve been looking at news quote from this, and I’m seeing him actually say:
    “Those who engage in homosexual behavior are just crazy,” Mugabe said. “It’s just madness. Insanity. We can’t do it or the dead will turn in their graves.”

    Zombie apocalypse is amusing though.

  4. jg bennett says:

    Wow. I mean WOW! I just felt this queer sense of heightened self empowerment, fellow Zombies… that I, too could twirl up a hurricane, and better yet RAISE THE DEAD!!, just like Jesus! … now, if I could only turn this glass of water here, into a nice crisp Chardonnay!
    … just a lovely glass of fine wine. ;;;;; How queer of Jesus, being himself a child conceived outside of his mother’s marriage; became the Ultimate guest at wedding parties! What a shame Jesus was not allowed to marry his most beloved disciple. I must go now, but good luck with the saving hetero marriage bizness……… I think I’ll go down to the cemetary, and ressurect Dear Old Dad

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