The March to Keep Fear (of Divorce) Alive

We live in frightening times. In New York they are building an Islamic cultural center (or “victory/death mosque”) based on the YMCA. Have you ever been inside the locker-room in a YMCA? All this so-called “cultural center” is doing is providing me with yet another place where I can accidentally see some old guy’s junk — and that terrifies me.

But the real people we need to be afraid of are divorcees. They are destroying the very moral fabric of this country. Our Founding Fathers didn’t get divorced! They bought slaves and had sex with them, but they didn’t get divorced! And that’s important.

The liberal elites want us to be “reasonable.” They want us to tone our rhetoric down. If we lost all of our irrational fear, how would we know who to blindly vote against?

That’s why Rescue Marriage will be proudly and angrily shouting in Washington, D.C., on October 30th, with Stephen Colbert to drown out the voices of reason and keep fear alive!

If you want to join us in D.C., join our event on Facebook, or drop us a line by e-mail: As details of the rally are revealed, we’ll keep you in the loop about where we are meeting and what we are planning.

I’d also recommend picking up a shirt, because they will know us by our catchy slogans.

We’re also starting a fundraiser for the event on the right with a goal to raise $1000 to buy t-shirts, buttons and signs to give away at the rally to spread our message of fear and intolerance of divorce far and wide. Please donate if you can.

About John Marcotte

John Marcotte is a firm believer in traditional family values. He currently opposes government-funded death panels, Obama talking to children and MSNBC's entire prime-time line-up.
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11 Responses to The March to Keep Fear (of Divorce) Alive

  1. GodlessCommie says:

    You’re an idiot.

  2. I fear fear itself says:

    @GodlessCommie – you don’t believe in god or satire?

  3. Julikins says:

    Maybe we can recruit Maggie Gallagher and Bryan Brown from the National Organization for Marriage to help with this. We could also try to get some of the million$ the Mormon$ pour into “protecting marriage”. Then we could buy T-shirts AND hats and pass them around at the next anti-gay marriage rally. We could even get the Pope’s blessing!

    Long live irrational fear!

  4. Pete says:

    This is so great! Heeheehee! Long live Stephen Colbert and fear!

  5. Mayday says:

    GodlessCommie meant to praise Mr. Marcotte for his stalwart intellectual rigor, but he doesn’t quite have a handle on this “sarcasm” thing yet.
    A for effort, Comrade.

  6. Ben says:

    Is this a joke? i think it is but i feel that people actually believe this.

  7. Deeanna says:

    Hey lets put women back in the kitchen while were at it!

  8. van Rooinek says:

    This is a great idea. Ban divorce in California! No more Hollywood divorces setting a bad example for the world, no more backstabbing wives taking a man’s children and house for no good reason, no more cheating husbands running off with some hot young thing, no more crying children, wondering if they’ll ever see Daddy since the (usually unjustified) restraining order keeps him away, no more men (or sometimes women) going to jail as “deadbeats” for innocently losing their jobs….

    The Terman study showed that kids who live through their parent’s divorce, DIE on average 5 years younger than others. Interestingly, losing a parent to death while young, doesn’t have the same effect — kids are sad but they adjust. But divorce is seen by the kids as an intentional, personal rejection of THEM (no matter how you try to explain it otherwise), and it has lifelong health implications, culminating in a shorter lifespan overall. Also, children of divorce, and especially children who grow up without fathers, which is usually what happens in divorce, have a significantly elevated incidence of every social pathology you care to name — all the stuff that forces our social spending, and hence taxes, through the roof: crime, school failure, dropping out, chronic joblessness, drugs, getting divorced themselves, out-of-wedlock childbearing, promiscuity, and yes, even homosexuality.

    And on that final point, here is the supreme irony: The strongest statistical predictor for a boy turning homosexual, is an absent or distant father relationship. That’s right, DIVORCE CAUSES HOMOSEXUALITY! This is why homosexuality suddenly exploded, a generation after the divorce revolution. Those who oppose homosexuality, should therefore be on the forefront of the effort to stop divorce, and keep Daddies around for their kids, as it is written:

    “He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” — Malachi 4:6

  9. van Rooinek says:

    children of divorce, and especially children who grow up without fathers, which is usually what happens in divorce, have a significantly elevated incidence of every social pathology you care to name — all the stuff that forces our social spending, and hence taxes, through the roof:

    Let me simplfy that for ya: DIVORCE CAUSES HIGH TAXES Intact families need far less social assistance, often none at all — a point often made by conservatives. So, let’s be logical: outlaw divorce!

    • Joe the Plumber says:

      High taxes on the wealthy are unGodly.

      At my home shrine to the Koch brothers, Jesus has told me personally that once I emerge from near-poverty and become a billionaire (the next time a Republican occupies the White House, all righteous Christians, unfettered by socialism and communism, will become billionaires), I shouldn’t have to pay taxes for the collective good or to take care of the needy (I think he referred to them as “lazy bums”).

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