Newt Gingrich, a man who believes so strongly in traditional marriage that he has tried it three times, has waged a desperate and clandestine war to repeal gay marriage in Iowa. The twice-divorced former Speaker of the House, who currently lives with a woman 23 years his junior that he was banging behind his second wife’s back while frothing at the mouth about Bill Clinton’s blowjob, funneled $200,000 to groups seeking to unseat Iowa’s pro-gay marriage Supreme Court justices – including $125,000 to the virulently anti-gay “American Family Association.”

A spokesman for Gingrich confirmed that the dough-faced pundit had become increasingly concerned that if gay people were allowed to marry, he would have no choice but to seek out a IHOP waitress and foist his pasty white man-flesh upon her while his third wife and children look on in abject horror.

“It’s a real possibility,” said an unnamed Gingrich insider. “He served his first wife with divorce papers while she was still recovering in the hospital from cancer. Jesus Christ, if he was willing to do that to her then, imagine what he’ll do if two gay men are allowed to live together in a committed, loving relationship? Farm animals might be involved.”

Huckabee went on to draw parallels between homosexuality and other lifestyles that are considered by some to be morally aberrant. “You don’t go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal,” he said of same-sex marriage. “That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them.”

He also affirmed support for a law in Arkansas that prohibits same-sex couples from becoming adoptive or foster parents. “I think this is not about trying to create statements for people who want to change the basic fundamental definitions of family,” Huckabee said. “And always we should act in the best interest of the children, not in the seeming interest of the adults.”

“Children are not puppies,” he continued. “This is not a time to see if we can experiment and find out, how does this work?”

Source: The Perspective

It takes a bold man to proudly proclaim that children are not puppies. It takes a bolder man to make sure that the public understands the dangers of homosexual couples adopting. Sure almost every single child in foster care was removed from the care of a heterosexual couple who lost their right to parenthood through either abuse or neglect, but which is actually worse: A mother who puts cigarette butts out on a child’s arm? Or the risk that a child might be repeatedly exposed to Lisa Minnelli albums?

If you chose Liza Minnelli, congratulations. You’re qualified to work as a contributor for Fox.

One of the many hot, gay Mexicans ready to steal our traditional marriages.

As the supporters of Proposition 8 so astutely pointed out, gay people getting married destroys the sanctity of existing straight marriages. And although we successfully stemmed the tide of marriage-destroying gay unions here in California, CNN is reporting that, by a vote of 39 to 20, Mexico City’s legislative assembly revised the city’s civil code to permit same-sex marriages.

We are fully engaged fighting the menace of divorce within, we can’t afford to be distracted by a burgeoning population of happily married gay couples looking to penetrate our southern border and taint our innocence.

That’s why I am proposing that we build a rainbow-colored wall to keep out the inevitable flood of gay Mexican couples who will come up here and take traditional marriages away from hard-working Americans. It will be a difficult task, though. For one thing, who do you think will build and/or decorate that wall?

Wedding cake topper courtesy of "Helen Rose Studio"

I recently became aware of a vexing moral dilemma: a judge in Indiana is refusing to grant a married lesbian couple a divorce because the state does not officially recognize same-sex marriages. This forces gay people to remain together — in violation of traditional values. But on the other hand it prevents them from getting divorced — upholding traditional values.

Like so many of life’s moral quandries, I put this one in the hands of the Lord:

Jesus never even mentioned homosexuals or homosexual behavior — rightfully knowing that we would all assume that he felt being gay was a mortal sin, even if he never, y’know, said anything. But He clearly stated that divorce is a sin: “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

So while it is obvious that being gay is sinful, it appears that Jesus felt that getting divorced was an even larger sin. On that basis, I think gay people who happened to get legally married will have no choice but to remain married forever. But since being gay is also sinful, I think that “married” homosexual couples should sleep in separate beds and refrain from having sex – just like real married couples.

Equality at last.

Five years after becoming the first state in the union to legalize gay marriage, Massachusetts remains the state with the lowest divorce rate in the country, thanks to the dedication and perseverance of its embattled straight population.

Actually, according to provisional data, Massachusetts’ divorce rate dropped from 2.3 per 1,000 in 2007 to 2.0 per 1,000 in 2008 — a rate not seen at the national level since before the onset of World War II. (source Bay Windows)

But, like the calm before the storm, it is only a matter of time before marriages start dropping like flies as heterosexual couples realize that if gay people are allowed to marry, it completely devalues the vows they took before God and family.

Marriage equality advocates from across the state hoping to repeal Proposition 8 in 2010 met last weekend in San Francisco to adopt a structure for a statewide signature gathering campaign and elect an interim leadership team to develop a political action committee.
(full article)