We live in frightening times. In New York they are building an Islamic cultural center (or “victory/death mosque”) based on the YMCA. Have you ever been inside the locker-room in a YMCA? All this so-called “cultural center” is doing is providing me with yet another place where I can accidentally see some old guy’s junk — and that terrifies me.

But the real people we need to be afraid of are divorcees. They are destroying the very moral fabric of this country. Our Founding Fathers didn’t get divorced! They bought slaves and had sex with them, but they didn’t get divorced! And that’s important.

The liberal elites want us to be “reasonable.” They want us to tone our rhetoric down. If we lost all of our irrational fear, how would we know who to blindly vote against?

That’s why Rescue Marriage will be proudly and angrily shouting in Washington, D.C., on October 30th, with Stephen Colbert to drown out the voices of reason and keep fear alive!

If you want to join us in D.C., join our event on Facebook, or drop us a line by e-mail: info@rescumarriage.org. As details of the rally are revealed, we’ll keep you in the loop about where we are meeting and what we are planning.

I’d also recommend picking up a shirt, because they will know us by our catchy slogans.

We’re also starting a fundraiser for the event on the right with a goal to raise $1000 to buy t-shirts, buttons and signs to give away at the rally to spread our message of fear and intolerance of divorce far and wide. Please donate if you can.

Gay pirates sully the traditional use for the Internet: straight porn. Just knowing that somewhere out there a gay pirate getting his “timbers shivered” via a viewing of You’ve Got Male diminishes the sanctity of my own screening of Buffy the Vampire Layer.

It’s “peer-to peer” not “queer-to-queer.” That rhymes, so it’s probably true.

“I think he has gay potential and definitely gay tendencies,” a bachelorette from Season 12 said.

It’s hard to argue with a nameless woman who may never have met Jake. And the news gets worse from there.

Paul Rosseau, who appeared on Season 4 of The Bachelorette, agrees.

“I definitely think he has gay tendencies, not only because of the way he dresses but also because he didn’t want to have sex with a beautiful girl and never really tried with the other girls on the show,” he told Radar. “Nothing personal, Jake!”

If these rumors from people Jake has never met are true, it would explain his deviation from the show’s award-winning formula. Normally, the Bachelor is expected to whore it up with 25 women at once as television crews record every sleazy moment before narrowing it down to two women. He then sleeps with both in a 48 hour time frame — in their parents’ homes if possible — before selecting one arbitrarily and proposing to her while the smell of her rival’s sex still clings to his naked man-flesh.

According to Jakes “fiancée” Vienna, Jake refused to have premarital sex with her on multiple occasions, claiming he was tired, he didn’t feel like it and that he preferred to wait for marriage.

The Bachelor is a great example of the esteem with which Americans hold the holy institution of marriage. It is a sacred bond between a man, a woman, the 24 other women he just banged and a television audience numbering in the millions. If the completely unsubstantiated rumors that Jake is gay turn out to be true, it would make not only Jake’s sham of an engagement less sacred, but it would also cast doubt on the previous 13 contestants’ fake marriage proposals and sham relationships.

Added yet another person who probably never met Jake and refused to even give her name:

“Vienna told me, ‘I don’t think Jake is into girls,’” a friend of Vienna’s told Radar.

A damning piece hearsay from another unnamed source. The “facts” are incontrovertible: Jake Pavelka couldn’t be more gay if he quit the show to play Miranda in a cross-dressing stage production of Sex in the City.

With a record like that, it’s no wonder that the liberal media elitists have targeted Rekers after it was discovered that he hired a gay male escort to accompany him on a 10-day tour of Europe. It seems that Reverend Rekers had some recent surgery, and needed help with his bags, so he turned to the website rentboy.com to rent a boy as a “travel assistant.” That’s where he found Jo-Vanni Roman, whose profile describes his “smooth, sweet, tight ass” and “perfectly built 8 inch cock (uncut).” (This type of  information is actually needed to get a visa to visit Belgium.)

Roman (pictured above not helping with the bags) stated that he had engaged in naked massage sessions with Rekeres — perfectly understandable as Rekers no doubt needed some physical therapy after his surgery. Rekers stated that he “shared his Christian faith” with Jo-Vanni.

We here at RescueMarriage want to go on record as stating that we absolutely believe Rekers that someone was on their knees and someone else was yelling “Oh God! Oh God!” at some point during the trip.

Rekers has actually testified in two different states that homosexuals should not be allowed to adopt children because they might molest them. If the adoptive father of three truly believed that gays adopt to molest, and he was discovered to be a closeted, self-hating gay man with a penchant for young boys, he would be one of the creepiest, hypocritical bastards ever to walk the earth.

And that obviously isn’t true. If he was gay, he knew how to just pray it away. He literally wrote the book on the subject.

He thinks the issue of sexual preference should be excluded from the new constitution that is being drawn up by parties represented in the government of national unity.

“It is not worthy of discussion,” he declared at a ceremony to mark Women’s Day recently. “Those that engage in such acts are insane. We cannot tolerate this, otherwise the dead will rise against us.”

Source: Global Post

Add this to the revelation a few weeks ago that  women who dress slutty cause earthquakes, and Pat Robertson’s  time-tested findings that Disney’s “Gay Days” cause hurricanes, and it is clear that we must deny gays as many rights as possible. If letting a lesbian ride the Matterhorn causes coastal flooding and giving them equal protection under the law causes the dead to rise from their graves, I’m positive that allowing gay people to marry would cause widespread bursitis … or maybe a plague of impeccably dressed wolf-men who shop exclusively at Pier 1.

To see how another blogger recently tempted fate and divine retribution with her cleavage, click on the link below. I recommend reading it as a cautionary tale — and also clicking around the site for pictures of boobs:

• Boobquake: In the name of science, I offer my boobs

Although I didn’t notice any earthquakes, it did rain a lot recently. That has to be someone’s fault, so I’m blaming her fun bags

Huckabee went on to draw parallels between homosexuality and other lifestyles that are considered by some to be morally aberrant. “You don’t go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal,” he said of same-sex marriage. “That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them.”

He also affirmed support for a law in Arkansas that prohibits same-sex couples from becoming adoptive or foster parents. “I think this is not about trying to create statements for people who want to change the basic fundamental definitions of family,” Huckabee said. “And always we should act in the best interest of the children, not in the seeming interest of the adults.”

“Children are not puppies,” he continued. “This is not a time to see if we can experiment and find out, how does this work?”

Source: The Perspective

It takes a bold man to proudly proclaim that children are not puppies. It takes a bolder man to make sure that the public understands the dangers of homosexual couples adopting. Sure almost every single child in foster care was removed from the care of a heterosexual couple who lost their right to parenthood through either abuse or neglect, but which is actually worse: A mother who puts cigarette butts out on a child’s arm? Or the risk that a child might be repeatedly exposed to Lisa Minnelli albums?

If you chose Liza Minnelli, congratulations. You’re qualified to work as a contributor for Fox.

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California lawmakers narrowly advanced a bill Tuesday that would repeal a state law designed to find the causes and cures of homosexuality.

The law, written in 1950, classifies homosexuals as “sexual deviants” and requires the state Department of Mental Health to conduct research on “deviations conducive to sex crimes against children.” The research would be used to help identify potential sex offenders.

Source: Huffington Post

This is terrible, terrible news. The law to study and “cure” gay people was a perfectly logical reaction to a series of horrific sex crimes by straight people in the 1950s. And while research started off strong, it had tapered off in recent decades — especially after the death of Paul Lynde, the last known gay in captivity.

In recent years studies had mainly consisted of watching Will & Grace reruns and listening to house music. Scientists had hoped for an increase in funding this year so that they could throw a really glam Oscar party.

The school was already warned to include Constance, and the only reason a court order was not issued was that it was assumed Constance had really been invited to the prom this time. The ACLU will likely sue the district again on Constance’s behalf. What no one has bothered to consider is that top scientists are still unsure how one catches “the gay.” It is quite possible that it is visually transmitted. If students were allowed to gaze upon unfettered lesbian love, we might lose an entire generation. Perhaps they could pass out special glasses, like the kind you use to view solar eclipses.

Now a sacred event — which inevitably ends with inexperienced fumbling underneath the bleachers leading to Pabst-fueled premature ejaculations and out-of-wedlock children — will have its sanctity preserved like the Lord intended.

This is just what religious experts fear will happen if gay people are allowed to marry, We’ll have to cancel all …straight marriages just to make sure that they are not happy. Is that what you want, gay people?

We are doing our best to keep up, but we can’t keep relying on the Duggar family. Eventually, that woman will simply run out of eggs to fertilize. And strategies such as promoting “abstinence only” sex education and distributing Jagermeister and slutty Halloween costumes to our nation’s universities are just stopgap measures at best.

So getting a divorce not only makes the baby Jesus cry, it also threatens our very national security.