He thinks the issue of sexual preference should be excluded from the new constitution that is being drawn up by parties represented in the government of national unity.

“It is not worthy of discussion,” he declared at a ceremony to mark Women’s Day recently. “Those that engage in such acts are insane. We cannot tolerate this, otherwise the dead will rise against us.”

Source: Global Post

Add this to the revelation a few weeks ago that  women who dress slutty cause earthquakes, and Pat Robertson’s  time-tested findings that Disney’s “Gay Days” cause hurricanes, and it is clear that we must deny gays as many rights as possible. If letting a lesbian ride the Matterhorn causes coastal flooding and giving them equal protection under the law causes the dead to rise from their graves, I’m positive that allowing gay people to marry would cause widespread bursitis … or maybe a plague of impeccably dressed wolf-men who shop exclusively at Pier 1.

To see how another blogger recently tempted fate and divine retribution with her cleavage, click on the link below. I recommend reading it as a cautionary tale — and also clicking around the site for pictures of boobs:

• Boobquake: In the name of science, I offer my boobs

Although I didn’t notice any earthquakes, it did rain a lot recently. That has to be someone’s fault, so I’m blaming her fun bags

Pat Robertson understands traditional values — perhaps better than anyone else. The conservative evangelical founder of the 700 Club knows that women should submit to their husbands, that God thinks that assassinating foreign leaders is OK and that evangelical Christians in the liberal United States are just like Jews in Nazi Germany.*

But Pat is a tolerant man. He spoke of the redemptive quality of God’s love when confronted with the evils of men having their timbers shivered by Jack Sparrow at Disney World during “Gay Days.”

I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.

It is precisely because of Pat’s stronger-than-average grasp of traditional values, that I was thrilled to find out that we were the lead news story on Pat’s Christian Broadcast Network! I was so excited that I could have kissed Pat — and maybe taken him for a trip on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

*All real Pat Robertson positions